Leaving is sooooo hard. It's a personal thingy that I really cannot avoid. One of them is that Chan gave me the WOW box and left in a snap. And I had to explain to Amanda that we're not together. And that I had to whine and tell her that her hair was brown. Explaining MY side and being the antagonist sucks. The women are always the antagonists, but I'm gae! So half antagonist then.
Am I guilty? I didn't do a crime. I was actually doing a favor. Falling out of love and pretending to love is a crime. It's not fair for the other person. Hell, he knows that I don't even say I love you. He knows that I just take him for granted and he's the martyr in the story. I am evil. I am an evil person and totally rockin' evil person.
Evil is a matter of opinion. Lots of people think that Machiavellian way of thinking is wrong. They really do. And a larger number of capitalist whores think that it's reality and it's how we all should live. So you get the idea.
I live my life. I decided to. Most of my friends think it's the way I should be. From this old lifestyle of "dependency" to the ultra hyped up "I-can-go-there-because-I-need-to-try-it-b
efore-I-die" ideology. I can try new things and I don't have to whine that I can't burn my fingers and have my knee stuck in between metal bars or be a squatter.
This life is better. I changed. But the love thing was waaaaaaaaaaaay before the change of heart happened. (reminded me of a reality tv series in Lifestyle Network. Cable is for RICH FEFOL)
I remember there was an AA person who complained of Halley's retorts what she and Toya would fight. She would tell Toya (yes, yes the manager of AA Guada) that "
Unsa man? Buwag ta?" Which is offensive to spectators and to people who respect the manager. She's just a waiter like them, so yeah it seems out of her line to say that. Or you're feminist and side Halley and stuff.
In my opinion? I think I know Halley to know that she has pride and she KNOWS that Toya could just drop her just like that. She just wants to be ahead of the game. Alpha Female thinking. She is pretty hot after all.
Oh yeah, don't tell them that you know if you see them around. Considering they're not together anymore.
Going back, everyone asks. "Is there a chance?"
I HONESTLY do not know. You people ask the wrong questions. Given the certain situations, the emotional instability of Chan, the old hobbies that are re-kindled, the nerd side of me revisted, the fact that I'm a heinous bitch, and maybe even the weather... So no. I don't think so. If it stays this way.
I know one of his friends will eventually find this post. One of them will give him the link. One of them will tell him "She's a bitch, forget about her." One of them will hug him and tell him it's going to be fine. He will hit on one of them (You certainly know who you are). And they will recount the "evil" things that I've made. I am certainly not fond of recounting mistakes, especially mine. Hell, I don't even remember helping out my friends, my achievements (unless they're really magnimonous) and the people who bitched me.
I give you all people the authority to bitch about me. You certainly don't have to tell me about it. Or tell me that someone bitched me blah blah. You could most certainly keep it all to yourselves. You could point and laugh and sneer at me as long as I don't notice. Or even if you do that, I don't see you since I'm half blind. LOL. You can do all the things that make you happy as long as it won't bother me.
And not much things bother me anyway. I'm usually a kevs kind of person.
Oh. And I hate it when people emo about me. Anything but about me. I thought you accepted it and "took it like a man". (But I'm gae!) Blah.
Go eat banana cue or something.
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